Deference and Demenour

It’s incredible how after these five weeks I am so much more aware of how we all conduct ourselves in a manner that seems to conform with Goffmans ideas about deference and demenour . After reading the assigned chapter for the week by Goffman, especially after looking at how long it was and dreading it, I actually found it to be rather interesting.

There are many ideas thrown around in the chapter, ‘deference’, ‘demenour’, ‘symmetrical’, ‘asymmetrical’, and so on and so on.

Obviously the whole point of the reading relates to deference and demenour and the place each of these ideas has in society. To begin with lets take a look at ‘rules of conduct’.

Goffman defines rules of conduct as “a guide for action, recommended not because it is pleasant, cheap or effective, but because it is suitable or just.” (pg.48)

These rules are applied to many aspects of our daily lives, in the form of written and unwritten rules, laws and common understandings. From my understanding Goffman is speaking about those ‘rules’ that are unwritten and informal.

Goffman goes on to separate this idea into obligations and expectations. Obligations are the way we are expected to act ourselves and expectations are how others are to act in respect to us.

For example in a certain situation, when walking past an old friend we often feel obliged to wave and say “hello”, and we expect the same in return.

The basis of the whole chapter reflects around deference and demenour, and the place each of these concepts have in society.

My understanding of deference is the way we interact and conduct ourselves in relation to others, and demenour being the way we conduct or ‘present’ our own self.

So, deference is displayed right here on my blog. I am interacting with others and there is a ‘code’ that governs the way I do so. But in doing this, I am also using (not sure if that’s the right term, but anyway) demenour, which in a way tells me how I should be acting and presenting myself to others.

Deference and demenour can be applied in just about every social setting, whether that be on the phone, the internet, at the shop, at work, the list is endless….